Anyone can tell you there’s no more road to ride

Taking your husband’s last name

I recently reblogged something interesting about the act of “taking your husband’s last name” and it’s relation to gender equality.

Firstly there were so many fucking historical baggage to this shit: “ Throughout most of the 1800s and into the 1900s, U.S. common law abided by the doctrine of coverture. Under coverture, a married woman had no rights to her own property or to make contracts in her own name — and indeed, she had no right to her own name at all. Her husband took on all legal rights for the couple. Coverture didn’t fully fade from the U.S. legal system until the 1960s and ‘70s; remnants included laws in some states forbidding women from taking out their own lines of credit. ”

I’m not going to condemn the shit out of people who do take on their husband’s names and claim to be a feminist, but I want to ask if the husband ever considered TAKING on her name? Was there some kind of discussion where he might take it on? Or was the conversation solely on her taking on his name because although it was your choice, it was done within such a limiting perspective - you were still operating on traditional notions which is NICE but if tradition is taken seriously as a legitimate argument then fuck…

“One key theme was this idea that marriage is about shifting your identity from an individual identity to a collective or family identity,” Powell said. “What they don’t explain is why it is that women should change their names as opposed to men, or both the husband and wife shifting [to a new name].”

Moreover, to the ladies that don’t give up their names -what happens when you have children? The conversation doesn’t really extend to the part where your kids can have either your name or your spouse’s. Hyphenate it? A bit of a mouth full…

I was in a relationship once where we had a conversation about this if hypothetically speaking: we had kids and what would be their last names. I argued that they should take on my last name because barely anyone in the world (let’s be honest, MAYBE France) has it and it is a strong indication if you are related to anyone with the last name. Whereas his name was on the most common list of last names in North America - possibly even England. Why the fuck would I take on his last name? Why should these imaginary kids take on his name? It’s so dull. Either way he said it was a deal breaker and without a better reason than: that’s just the way it is, he said that’s why they should take on his name.

I can’t imagine I’ll ever be married now or have some sort of eternal partnership with someone I quite enjoy if when it comes to tradition they can’t argue better than a kid with a mouthful of candy . Unless they were progressive and had a bit of a chat when it comes to arguing their goddamn case. I was even going to AGREE to settling to a hyphenated name until adulthood - then they get to choose which identity they want the fucking most. Whats more is the issue with my last name which did not belong to my mother bit solely my father and his father before him and his father before him. Generations of a name which men dictate. How is this to be solved?